In their words.
Tribute to Sarah and MEM
I didn’t know healing could be quick, that in one moment the frustration would whoosh out like a champagne cork.
I tossed many nights with neither my pillows nor my mattress, nor my
character or my mood to support me. All was tussle and tumult, so stale and unresolved that exasperation and anger at 2am was the common result. I was suffering, but knew I needed it not, thwarted but knew I need not be. I prayed for a day of gratitude, gumption, and grace, yet the sleepless 2am war raged in my head, splitting, whizzing, and ripping though my knees and elbows as they tossed my body in insomniac hell. I tried to write it out but no matter how much my pen sizzled and dabbed and stabbed, no expression could release the compression of pent-up energy within. Words seemed not helpful, my blocks too twisted and curled inward to bear scrutiny. I could not fathom it, and in the end hoped there was just a lid somewhere to pop, and out would rush the trauma, unfurling and releasing.
Within Sarah I detected a salve of hope. She had been training in the Mace Energy Method and was seeing clients during internship. The insomnia had settled down but was not gone. I did need help and trusted her spiritual sense in the matter of healing. The core work of the MEM is to ‘dis-create’ negative identities, which we create in response to an event in our life, traumatic, agonizing, or unexpected. That identity becomes the first responder to future events of a similar nature. But it is a false call out, the first responder, the negative identity, is the wrong guy, it’s not the real you. It's that Joker who is wheeled out because he made you laugh while you were overwhelmed. Or it’s the warrior, or liar, or some other identity, and they contradict or fight each other and other people for your attention.
The MEM gets them to leave. When they leave, or are ‘dis-created’, it is like the weirdest thing. So obvious it cannot be explained. You are liberated through some internal movement of feeling or energy or stickiness and then your head is buzzing and you're happy. It seems chemical, like a hormone change or hormone release. Like you're drunk, except you're not. This light feeling pops naturally across the top of your shoulders and I had a sensation almost of flying. Best of all was the sensation of being popped open like a fizzy drink, and suddenly my words and expressions were naturally mine again.